This has been eating at me for a few weeks now.
I need to get this off my chest.
On the night of Friday, Jan. 4, I got home from work sometime around 11:20 p.m. On the ground outside the entrance of my apartment building, there was a half-eaten chicken strip just left there to die in the cold. I was shocked. I was shook.
Who would do this? Is someone messing with me? Is there a smaller, less handsome, inferior food blogger in my neighborhood?
All my questions remain unanswered (it was probably just one of the many ill-mannered, deviant children who live in my building). I took the night to process the blasphemy I had seen and made the issue public the next morning.
The guilt I’ve been feeling doesn’t stem from the thought of someone partaking in such an egregious act, but from my lack of action.
I documented what I saw, then left the poor chicken strip out there to die alone in the cold.
I had already eaten dinner and wasn’t hungry anymore. The five-second rule was out the window. There’s just nothing I could’ve done.
But just because I made a mistake in the past, doesn’t mean I can’t help prevent tragedies like this from happening in the future.
That’s why I’m launching the No Strip Left Behind campaign. Finish your food. If you’re soft and can’t eat a full order of chicken strips, please just dispose of them properly. Or give them to a dog, or someone else who’d appreciate them.
Not eating our chicken strips and throwing them on the ground to waste away is a thing of the past. As a nation, we must come together to end this madness and nonsense.
If you don’t like chicken tenders, that’s fine. But don’t do what this person did. No one should ever do what they did. It’s wrong. It’s disgusting. It’s shameful.
Thank you for being here. I love you.
P.S.: Alternatively, here’s a statement prepared by my PR guy, Christopher. Contrary to its first sentence, it’s not really factual, but it’s good and get’s the point across.
I’m providing this factual account of what happened on Jan. 5, 2019, to correct misinformation and outright lies being spread about my relationship with chicken strips.
I tweeted a picture of a chicken strip outside of my building at 10:03 a.m. My PR firm feels it is unnecessary to state that I was returning from lifting weights at a local gymnasium, but I want everyone to know.
So I was returning from lifting large weights over my head, feeling good about myself because of how huge the weights were. I came upon a chicken strip outside of my building. I was confused. I wasn’t sure if someone was trying to taunt or attack me. It seemed insane to me to leave a chicken strip on the ground with no rating.
I did not approach the chicken strip. The chicken strip approached me.
I don’t regret my reaction. I regret not taking the chicken strip and giving it a home. No chicken strip should ever be left behind.