Basket Review No. 46: Moorhead Billiards

Wow what an adventure this was.

The food was not what made this Basket Review interesting, but that’s what I’ll start with.

As far as chicken strips go, these were as normal as they come. The breading was crunchy; however, it was slightly thick for my taste and could’ve used a bit more seasoning. The meat itself was a little higher quality than I expected, but teetered on the dry side.

The fries were nice. They could’ve maybe used a dash more of salt. The crispiness and texture was on point. I was content with them. The ranch was fine. It tasted like, and had the consistency of any ol’ regular ranch dipping sauce.


Alright, here’s where it gets interesting.

Moorhead Billiards is not the first restaurant we went to. It was a bit of a last resort.

So yesterday, Saturday, I had to work at 3. We went to Legends Sports Bar and Grill in south Moorhead at about 1:30, which I had been wanting to try for awhile. I was unable to find Legends’ menu online, but I figured it’s a sports bar, they have chicken strips, right?


OK. I’d love to eat here, the stuff on the menu looked very tasty, but we were on a mission to get some damn chicken strips. So not to look like complete idiots and waste these people’s time, we ordered some chips and queso (which was solid) and tried to figure out a Plan B.

I work downtown, so I had to stay in Moorhead or near downtown Fargo to avoid being late.

I’ve hit the main downtown places already and some other bars/restaurants there weren’t opening until later in the day. So we started rattling off restaurants in Moorhead that I hadn’t been to yet that could be possibilities. It took way too long to find a destination. These places need to have websites to post their menus on. It’s 2019, come on. And some that do have websites, didn’t have chicken strips on the menu (sad).

Luckily, Moorhead Billiards has a website. We confirmed they had a chicken strip basket and were on our merry way.

It was probably about 1:50 or so when we left Legends, which is on the far south end of town. Moorhead Billiards is just across the train tracks on the north side. I think we rolled in at about 2, ate and were in pretty good shape for time.

Moorhead Billiards is right next to the train tracks, and YOU GUESSED IT, there was a train going through.


I had to get south of the tracks, so I went like two miles east out of my way to go under them. Thankfully the train wasn’t on the set of tracks I had to inevitably cross. That would have been a disaster.

After a wild detour, I finally dropped my friend Craig off at his house around 2:45 or 2:50. His place is about the halfway point between my apartment and work, so I was fine.

Well as I was leaving, a friend I work with texted me and asked if I could grab her a Red Bull on my way to the office. I’m a really good person, so I said I could do that.

There’s a gas station on my way to work on Main Avenue, so I ran in and grabbed a couple Red Bulls.

I walked into the office, dropped off the beverage and sat at my desk. Is the anticipation killing you? Do you think I made it?

I clocked in at exactly 3:00. What a time to be alive. Shoutout to my guy Craig for joining me. It was a thrilling (ha) experience.

Oh yeah, I should probably rate these things, since that’s what we’re all here for.

Guest reviewer Craig put the basket at a 6.4. That’s a professional review.

I’m going to go with 6.2. It was pretty average all around. It was comparable to Dairy Queen.

I don’t really have anything to say about the ambiance. It was dark. There were a lot of pool tables. Our server shared my appreciation of chicken strips. So that was cool.

That was way too long of a review, but I had to tell the story. If you made it this far and are still reading, you’re loved. Don’t forget it.


Author: thrillswithjmills

Food lover located in Fargo, N.D. Chicken strip aficionado; blogger; aspiring TikTok superstar.

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