Basket Review No. 51: Tyson

Tyson, the food company, tried to kill people.

In case you missed it, Tyson had to recall over 69,000 pounds (nice) of frozen chicken strips because consumers found pieces of metal in them. Metal. Inside of chicken strips. How does that even happen?

Why would you disrespect the game and the people like that, Tyson?

I wasn’t pleased.

Since winter is (hopefully) gone, I thought my life-endangering maneuvers to bring the common people the food critiques they need were over. But I spontaneously drove on over to Hornbacher’s and bought some frozen food that may or may not be infested with metal. The lengths I go through for this are second to none.

I bought a bag of Tyson crispy chicken strips and generic Essential Everyday extra crispy fries (yeah, I have a type).

The chicken strips weren’t very good. They actually had some crunch, but it wasn’t a very satisfying crunch and they were not at all crunchy in some spots. The quality of the meat wasn’t great, but was better than expected, so good for you, Tyson. I would give you a golf clap, but you don’t deserve one.

The frozen fries were a little better than I expected, just because they actually were pretty crispy coming out of the oven. Even though they were labeled extra crispy, and a label shouldn’t lie, I was still surprised. However, they were pretty bland and needed a generous amount of salt.

I had a bottle of generic, store-bought ranch in my fridge, so I don’t really have anything to say about that.

Overall, I’m going to go 3.3 on the Tyson chicken strip basket. It was still a chicken strip basket, so the elements weren’t necessarily gross, but in the grand scheme of things, not a basket one should ever crave or want more of.

Also:

Hey, Tyson, you’re cancelled. If you can’t manage to keep metal out of the food of the people, you don’t deserve to produce it. Bye. 3.3.